Why Students Stop Caring

The tic tac toe effect in education (and how to design learning games worth winning)

Why I wrote this

I see educators who are
overworked,
overwhelmed,
trying to keep up with AI,
and not sure how to connect with their students anymore.

The real problem isn't the students or technology,
it's that we're still playing by rules that stopped working years ago.

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What you'll get

• Stop feeling like you're fighting an uphill battle - understand why engaged students suddenly become grade-chasers (and how to reverse it)

• Reconnect with students who've checked out - using the meta-learning approach that makes them curious about learning again

• Transform your most frustrating classes - real examples of how educators turned disengaged students into self-motivated learners

• Stay ahead of the AI disruption - instead of fighting technology, use these principles to make your teaching irreplaceable

• Design lessons students actually want to attend - the 4-step system to eliminate "tic tac toe patterns" and create learning experiences worth winning

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When tic tac toe stopped being fun

We all played tic tac toe as kids.

Until we didn't.

We generally stop playing around age 8 when we realize, through trial and error, that every game ends in a tie when everyone knows how the game works.

When I do this. My opponent does that. So I do this.

Tie.

There is no way to win.

The same thing happens in education.

And it's killing student motivation.

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The Game Theory of Giving Up

Here's the thing about tic tac toe.

It's not actually a game once you understand it.

It's a demonstration of futility disguised as entertainment.

Every move has a counter.
Every strategy has a set defense.
The only winning move is not to play.

You’re probably making the connection already, because this exact pattern shows up everywhere in modern education.

Students figure out the "optimal strategy”—which isn't to win, but to avoid losing.

Do the minimum. Get the grade. Move on.

Tie.

But here's what most discussions miss: The problem isn't that students are lazy. The problem is they've solved the game.

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The 4 Stages of Educational Disengagement

Just like tic tac toe, student motivation follows a predictable pattern:

Stage 1: Excitement (Age 5-7)

• Everything is new

• Mistakes feel like learning

• Winning and losing both seem possible

Stage 2: Pattern Recognition (Age 8-12)

• Students start seeing the system

• They learn what teachers want

• Creativity gets replaced by compliance

Stage 3: Optimization (Age 13-16)

• Minimum viable effort becomes the strategy

• Gaming the system beats mastering the content

• Passion projects die in favor of "what's on the test"

Stage 4: Disengagement (Age 17+)

• Complete strategic withdrawal

• "Just tell me what I need to know for the exam"

• Learning becomes purely transactional

The tragedy? Most students never make it back to Stage 1 excitement.

They've learned that curiosity is inefficient.

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Why This Happens (And Why It's Getting Worse)

Every educational system is a media system now.

Students consume information faster than ever. They can Google any fact in seconds. They can watch YouTube tutorials that teach them more in 10 minutes than some classes teach in a week.

But schools are still playing by 1950s rules.

Memorize. Regurgitate. Repeat.

That means students quickly realize they're playing a game where:

• The "right" answer is always predetermined

• Creative thinking gets penalized if it doesn't match the rubric

• Success comes from reading the teacher, not understanding the material

• The reward (grades) has no connection to the skill (learning)

Translation: School becomes a slightly more grown-up version of tic tac toe.

Every question has a scripted response.
Every project follows an invisible template.
Every discussion has a "correct" and expected direction.

When students figure this out, they stop trying to win.

They just try not to lose.

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The AI Acceleration Problem

Here's where it gets interesting.

AI just broke the game completely.

Students can now generate essays, solve problems, and even participate in discussions without engaging their brains at all.

But instead of adapting, many schools are doubling down on the old game.

More proctoring. More plagiarism detection. More rules.

The fundamental problem remains: Students have no reason to care about a game where optimal play leads to boredom.

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What Actually Works (The Anti-Tic Tac Toe Approach)

The solution isn't better enforcement.

It's changing the game entirely.

Here's what I've learned from working with educators who actually engage students:

1. Make the Game Infinite

Instead of closed problems with predetermined answers, create open challenges with multiple valid solutions.

Example: Instead of "What caused World War I?" try "Design a diplomatic solution that could have prevented World War I, then defend your approach against historical criticism."

2. Change the Win Condition

Stop rewarding compliance. Start rewarding curiosity.

Students should win by asking better questions, not giving expected answers.

3. Introduce Real Stakes

Connect learning to projects that matter outside the classroom.

When students are solving real problems for real people, the game becomes worth playing.

4. Embrace Asymmetric Advantages

Let students use their unique strengths and interests.

The kid obsessed with video games? Let them analyze historical events through game design principles.

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The Meta-Learning Solution

But here's the deeper insight:

Students need to learn how to create their own games.

The most successful people don't play other people's tic tac toe games.

They invent new games where they have advantages.

That means teaching students:

• How to identify their unique combinations of interests and skills

• How to find problems worth solving (that aren't being solved by everyone else)

• How to create their own metrics for success

• How to build communities around their learning

This is meta-learning. Learning how to shape your learning. Learning how to stay curious. Learning how to find problems that energize you instead of drain you.

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This Is Where Most People Stop Reading

Here's what I've noticed.

Everyone loves diagnosing the problem. Nodding along. Sharing articles about "what's wrong with education."

But when it comes to actually changing the game?

Most people keep playing tic tac toe.

They complain about student engagement while using the same lesson plans from 2019. They blame phones and TikTok while teaching the same way their professors taught them.

The people who are working to solve the game that isn’t working, are the people who take action.

They don't just understand why students disengage. They have a systematic approach to re-engaging them.

They've done the work to figure out what actually works.

And they're willing to throw out everything that doesn't.

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The rest of this post contains the 4-step system to get students excited about learning again.